Howareya?

Last night I came across a CD containing all the files of my ill-fated first attempt to make a Flash cartoon. I had abandoned this project over three years ago. Today I spent a few hours fixing some bugs, but otherwise I’m posting it “as is.” The most noticeable omission is the lack of audio, yet I think it actually works quite well as a silent cartoon.

Technical notes:

• Download size: 1.8 MB
• System requirements: Flash Player 6 or later installed in your web browser, and a computer that isn’t too ancient. The graphics may stall on older computers.
• To make the animation fill more of your screen, enlarge the pop-up window that contains the animation. If the animation seems to be running slowly, make the window smaller.

Background:

Several years ago I was struck with a nagging infatuation. I had been coming in contact with the Object of My Affection (OoMA) on a fairly regular basis for at least a year. Finally I mustered up the courage to do what any other red-blooded American man would do: I decided to make a cartoon.

I wrote the script within 20 minutes late one night in early 2003, and then proceeded to spend more than half a year attempting to put the animation together, using Flash software. I had just worked through a couple instructional books, and was now attempting my first original Flash cartoon. It quickly proved to be too ambitious for an inaugural project, and many of the details I was trying to implement were unnecessarily complex.

The audio would be my downfall. In addition to a voiceover, I had planned to have music loops playing in the background, fading in and out during scene changes. Getting the sounds to play as intended required programming skills beyond my novice abilities. I dropped the entire project six months after starting it, and didn’t attempt another Flash cartoon until a year and a half later (“O Beckoning Babe,” which was inspired by another OoMA).

I lost contact with OoMA when she moved out of state, and I momentarily forgot about the project that she had instigated. When I found the CD last night though, I was surprised by how much I enjoyed the uncompleted work. I decided to make only a few functional tweaks, and finally call it “complete.”

Clarifications about some of the content:

• I admit that the animated dude is primarily modeled after me. Resemblance to any other cartoon characters is strictly coincidental, as I had not yet discovered the brilliance of Spongebob Squarepants three years ago.
• OoMA did indeed have a curvaceous hourglass figure.
• OoMA had occasionally mentioned a goal to marry a football player whose salary would need to be at least three times as large as hers.
• When this project began, I was working at Lockheed Martin on the Airborne Laser (ABL) program. The mission of ABL is to shoot down hostile missiles in the boost phase of launch using a high-energy chemical laser integrated into a Boeing 747 aircraft. When discussing my job with OoMA, she expressed doubt that the ABL program would ever come to fruition. So far, she’s been correct.
• At the end of the credits, you have the option to see the script that was intended to be voiced over the animation. Yeah, it looks like a bunch of gibberish, but I swear it was genius at the time.