“Lady Logarithm”

Jerome A. White
August 2010

My algebraic love affair stagnated over variables dawdling on the ground floor
Radicals and powers could only propel my passions so far
But she entranced me
Like a sultry siren beyond my reach
A mysterious unknown locked in her exponential tower like Rapunzel
Overlooking the base

I longed to lure her down and solve her secrets
And when I viewed her exponential form inverted across the reflective identity line
Her logarithmic loveliness emerged
The unknown descended from her tower, isolated on one side, she would no longer hide
Naked to the world, subjecting herself to evaluation
And across the equal sign, surreal, sublime, stood a mirrored mistress, majestically materialized
Lady Logarithm, base holstered at her hip, firmly pressed up against her power
Woman of the hour
Mathematical flower poised to blossom into a revelation of the unknown

Calculations so seductive, o how she allures me with ‘em
She raises me to a higher power, my sweet Lady Logarithm

Lady Logarithm, I luxuriate in your graphic properties
My eyes trace your smooth, monotonic contour up along that fine asymptote
Admiring your tight curvature swingin’ that thang around the bend
Crossin’ the x-axis on the one
Watching you gently recline just above the line
Yet no man can hold you down
Try as they might to suppress your height
You overcome restrictions on your domain and appearances that your growth has plateaued
No glass ceiling can limit the unbounded ascent of your infinite range

Lady Logarithm, life would languish if you were to leave
You reign in unfathomable extremes too expansive for any man’s brain to contain
Your pH scale hails the hydrogen ion concentration of the exothermic chemistry
heating our hearts
Your astronomical scale benchmarks the brightness of stars
yearning to burn as brilliantly as our unbridled passions
Your decibel scale delivers docile delicacies whispered in your ear as well as the
deafening drum of my debaucherous desires
Your Richter scale quantifies the quakes that quiver the quadrants de mi corazon
when I imagine your absence

Scientific scales so seductive, o how she allures me with ‘em
She raises me to a higher power, my sweet Lady Logarithm

Lady Logarithm, as I lie tangent to your natural curve
I divide unity by your input to calculate the quotient of my rise over your run
While your output compiles the accumulation of rectangular slivers
Nestled in the fertile slice between the reciprocal curve and the x-axis
Rectangles which, like my sweet nothings, are infinitesimal in size
Yet infinite in number
Lady Logarithm, let me in
Without you I can’t win
You’ve got me spinnin’ ‘round like a logarithmic spiral
Love gone viral
Tracing the hypnotic edges of a nautilus shell
The engulfing arms of the Milky Way
The ravaging twist of a hurricane
I swirl inward toward the eye of your storm
Along a golden path finite in length yet innumerable in turns
Mesmerized by your self-similar nature
I could never hate ‘cha
Yet no matter how close I venture to your center
The road ahead appears unchanged
Just like a fractal
You hack deep into the cracks and crevices of my cranium
Extracting the abstract facts I lack, thusly I react
The odds are stacked, but your impact is too exacting
For me to turn my back on this attraction

Calculus and spiral properties so seductive, o how she allures me with ‘em
She raises me to a higher power, my sweet Lady Logarithm

Lady Logarithm, you got me grippin’ and glidin’
Rippin’ and ridin’
Slippin’ and slidin’
Like a slide rule
A most elegant tool
That computes because of you, mathematical jewel
Keepin’ your cool while I act a fool
So divinely fine, you excite my mind
Hearts aligned, souls intertwined
I follow blindly the laws you lay for all mankind

Calculations so deductive
Scientific scales so productive
Properties so instructive
That’s how you allure me with ‘em
You raise me to a higher power
My sweet Lady Logarithm